i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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