so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
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When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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