ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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