Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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