So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize