hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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