I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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