my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
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i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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