and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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