Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
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So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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