Rock
Scissors
Fuck
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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