i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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