shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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