Already got asked if we're dating
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
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