I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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