Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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