did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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