apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize