Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
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I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
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why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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