Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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