It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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