hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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