Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize