Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i don't like sucking hair
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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