I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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