I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize