I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize