she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize