I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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