You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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