The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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