Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
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