I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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