I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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