Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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