Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
worst night to have a conscience
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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