Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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