The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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