My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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