I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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