He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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