HIV tests are more positive than that guy
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize