he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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