i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize