You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize