I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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