I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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