just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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