Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize