Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Say something about gay babies.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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